


Love Long Lost

by FadingLight27



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon), steven universe future - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, F/M, Gen, Loneliness, M/M, Sadism, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:32:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22868671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FadingLight27/pseuds/FadingLight27
Summary: Big Spoiler Warnings for Future.My collective thoughts on how Steven could end up. This should be a short little story, extra tags are just if I get obsessive with how it's moving along and want to write more.
Relationships: Less of a relationship really., Ruby/Sapphire (Steven Universe)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

There he was, lying in a pit of his creation. Some would pity him, some would say he deserves it, but for a time he did nothing but lay there wallowing in his doubt, his malice towards himself. He for the first time felt alone, more alone than when Lars left. He was afraid, he had nothing now nobody would understand, what was he doing trying to propose he may as well just threw his only love away. 

_ *Raindrops splashed against the ground, he was cold the moisture on his face would only bring him more tears.* _

His mind refused to take him, so his body could only crawl; the hole seemed so shallow a moment ago but he felt like an ant, no motion would cross his mind crawling from the fissure took all he had, and when he reached the peak his luck would once again show him who's in charge. When his hand brushed against a piece of glass he recoiled in pain, vividly his eyes would open, gleaming a new color, he felt that. He could still feel, he looked upwards towards the sky from his position on the ground, the rain would wash away the blood on his hand. The scar was small not even worth healing, he would laugh to himself as the vivid colors all around him faded, again he was alone. He turned towards the glass, it was from the jam he had prepared he palmed it in his hand, for a moment he let his memories rush to him. He squeezed his hand, forcing the glass into his flesh and then he saw it again, a light at the end of the tunnel, hope. He stood to his feet and he started to clean the remnants of his friendship, his only love.

_ *Some days would pass, Steven talked less, to the gems, to his friends, and his phone would become overlooked. After a few weeks, people stopped calling, but Steven would be fine after all, it was winter now and he had found his north star.* _

Garnet: "Steven, can you pass the duck-tape?"

Steven: "No problem garnet, what are you wrapping anyways?" 

Garnet: "These gifts for the students at little home-world, they're learning about human celebrations, and all of them want to throw a Christmas party... you should come."

Steven: "I don't think I'm ready for that kind of commitment."

Garnet: "I want you to think about it, Steven... this could be good for you."

Steven: "I not really my cup of tea anymore Garnet... I'm... better off alone."

Garnet: "Steven..." Garnet lays a gentle hand on Steven's head she ruffles his hair. Garnet has noticed how different everything is now because his hair is knotted, unwashed, and acrid. 

Garnet: "I love you, Steven... we all do." 

Steven turned towards his room, a slow walk up the stairs where he greeted his keep out sign. Even pearl respected it, he opened his door to greet the mess left behind from three months of neglect. His eyes were dull, it was dark in the room as he looked around his eyes passed over the cigarettes he tried some time ago. They were useless, he didn't feel anything when he smoked, same with the alcohol nothing helped, nothing but a small piece of glass. 

Steven had been growing worried, he had done this a thousand times by now but lately, his light is leaving him. Maybe he had become too skinny, but foods lost its taste, Steven placed his head on his bed his propping body next to it as he slowly pulled the sharp glass down his arm. Nothing, he cut deeper, and twisted, and strained but, nothing would come of it, his forearm was bleeding profusely Steven's vision grew blurry. 

He cried the light was gone, but he couldn't let anyone else know he dabbed the blood off his arm and wrapped it with bandages, it has been a long time since he healed himself. The scars felt great if he jumped in hot water after, but he wouldn't have time for that. He ran down the stairs fully dressed and hopped on the warp pad. 

Steven was greeted with the heat of the sun.

"Hello, Steven I was waiting for you." Garnet tilts her visor smiling. Holding out a gift for the now frowning boy.

"Thank you, Garnet..." Steven extends his hands outwards retrieving the gift and walks toward the festivities, Garnet would smile and walk soon after. Everyone was surprised to see him, but Steven _still wasn't happy_. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry the chapter is so late. Doesn't make it better that the parts are so short.

The party was fun, everyone was happy to see him but Steven felt better here, he stood at the edge of the lighthouse cliff. Steven peered back at the hill, he made the worse decision of his life there. He can remember it so vividly.  
Steven: "Connie will you marry me!"  
Connie: "W-what?!"  
Steven: "Let's get married and live as Stevonnie!"

He took a deep breath in, he had to remember this, it was the reason he was here. The way she looked at him, the fear he felt when he doubled down on the idea, the denial.  
Connie: "I don't want to die Steven."  
Steven: "W-what do you mean?!"  
Connie: "When you fuse, you lose yourself and you're a new person. Yeah, it's a conversation but I have so much I still want to do... apart. "  
Steven: "T-That's ok, we can-"  
Connie: "No, Steven I got accepted to college in France I won't be around much longer. "  
Steven: "We can still call each other right..."  
Connie: "Steven, I think we need a break."  
Steven: "Plea-"  
  
Steven stopped himself and peered over the cliff, for a moment he felt weightless. The crisp night air blew against his cold cheeks, the fall was liberating the thought of death made him feel alive, and finally, he was alive again. Every inch he grew closer to the ground his smile grew larger and more twisted, he closed his eyes hoping it would be the final time. But, it wasn't, he felt the firm grasp of gemmed hand grasp him.  
Garnet: "It's time for this to stop Steven! You need to talk to us!"  
Steven: "What's there to talk about."   
  
Garnet pulls a shard of stained glass from her gem, it's a dull red tint layered over the glass like a gloss.

Steven: "Garnet... where did you get that." Steven extends his hand reaching towards Garnet. Garnet crushes the glass in her hand reducing it to red dust, clear scorn flushes Steven's face.  
Steven: "Why would you do that!" Garnet took a firm grasp of Steven's arm, he tried his best to wriggle away but to no avail.  
Steven: "Garnet, let go of me!   
Garnet: "You don't have the strength to resist." Garnet yanks down his sleeve revealing the beaten flesh underneath.   
Steven: "Why are you doing this to me!"   
Garnet: "Why are you doing this to us, Steven you don't eat, you don't sleep, you don't talk to us, and now this!"   
Steven: "What else am I supposed to do!"  
Garnet: "Talk to us, Steven I never want to see another future without you!   
Steven: "How am I supposed to live if I feel like I'm going to die every day!"  
Garnet: "You live life to the fullest, and tell people how you feel! Everyone loves you, Steven and we'll give you that love until you find yours again."   
  
Steven runs blank, he nods his head submits. When garnet leads him back to the house Pearl and Amethyst are sitting quietly in wait. Garnet sits and pats the cushion beside herself awaiting Steven. When he walked, he walked slowly and methodically. His heart pounded greater with each step and ended with a crescendo of tears.  
  
Garnet: "Tell us how you've been feeling."  
Steven: "It's not easy to describe..."  
Pearl: "Steven, we only have time, take as long as you need."

Steven took a deep breath.

Steven: "Imagine drawing yourself a bath, going all out with essential oils and bubbles, turning off the lights and lighting candles. You turn on the Ac letting the cold air fill the room and get in the hot tub, you relax, enjoy yourself but... then, suddenly the candles are blown out. You look down and the water is being drained, and you're left there in an empty tub unable to move. Cold, scared... alone."


	3. The end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well this was fun, a story of self love in the end. Depression affects everyone no matter how big or small, thanks for reading. I have a new story in the works coming on 3/6/2020, it should be on time with the return of new episodes!

Steven sat at the edge of the bathtub peering over into the pink water, Garnet had taken advantage of the bottled healing liquid he had prepared in case his mouth was dry. Everyone sat in the doorway watching him contemplate healing his wounds. After some time Amethysts would leave, followed by Pearl, and then Garnet. When they closed the door Steven felt odd, everything was quiet. The water blew up warm against his face and slowly, but deliberately he removed his clothes and right as he was about to enter the tub the lights flickered. A thunderous booming sound shook the home, a fight? Steven looked towards the water and froze, he could feel his heart pounding, he collapsed his vision felt blurred, he couldn't breathe.

For a while, Steven ran in and out of consciousness, the roof would shake dropping debris around him. He could feel his arm throbbing, he was clenching his heart. Steven crawled towards the bath, this was it for him... he paused for a moment. This could be it... he could let it all end here, let the pain take him...

(Outside) 

Garnet: "Pearl, you need to move!" Garnet ushered orders while avoiding every possible attack. 

Malachite 2.0: "You thought you could get rid of us!" Malachite slams into Pearl throwing her body against the mountain.

Amethysts: "Garnet fuse with m-" Malachite slams into Amethysts, poofing her instantly.

Malachite 2.0: "You know sister, I  _ really _ missed you!" Malachite would boisterously laugh at the thought.

Garnet: "Jasper, why are you doing this! You have no reason to attack us!" 

Malachite slams down a watery hand trapping garnet. They lift her into a giant sphere, thrashing her about and watching her squirm.

Malachite 2.0: "Finally, I get my revenge! Then, we reduce this miserable planet to ash!" 

Steven: "Let go of my friends!" Steven shouted from below the looming threat.

Steven walked out of his home, cheeks flushed with a new hue of pink. He was alive, and he wanted everyone to know it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an incredibly short story and if you're looking for more I'll be coming out with something more... cheerful this Friday.


End file.
